posts tagged "comprehensive sex education"
Vaginas Are Sperm Depositories and Other Scary Things About the State of New York’s Sex Ed Curricula
Along with many others children, teens, and adults, this week I went back to school, too. I started teaching Introduction to Human Sexuality at a local college, something I haven’t done in about six years. In an effort to gauge what my students had already learned and what they wanted to know, I gave them an anonymous questionnaire which, in part, asked them to describe their sexuality education up until this point. At least five of them said that they’d had the “standard” or “usual” high school sex education. Unfortunately, this wasn’t particularly enlightening to me because as a new report from the New York Civil Liberties Union (NYCLU) highlights: when it comes to sex ed there is no such thing as standard; every district or even every classroom is different.
A survey of school systems across New York was conducted by NYCLU to determine what, if anything, they were teaching students about sex. Schools in the state are not required to teach comprehensive sexuality education, and while they are required to teach about HIV and certain other health topics, most of the lessons do not address sexuality or relationships. Schools do have to teach about alcohol, drugs, and tobacco; the prevention and detection of certain cancers; child development and parenting skills; and interpersonal violence. They do not, according to the new report, Birds, Bees, and Bias, How Absent Sex Ed Standards Fail New York Students, have to teach about “healthy relationship skills, STI and pregnancy prevention, puberty, [and] anatomy” or “other core aspects of effective, comprehensive sex education.” In 2005, the Department of Education issued state standards for health education, which included many topics related to sexual health. However, these standards are voluntary, and school districts do not have to comply with them. The authors also mention the National Sex Education Standards, which were released early this year by a number of national organizations. These set minimum content requirements for concepts in sex education but are also not binding. The report concludes:
“The current legal and policy climate permits schools in New York to decide what, if any, sex education they will teach beyond the mandated HIV education. As a result, whether New York’s teens graduate from high school with the information and skills crucial to making lifelong healthy and informed decisions about sex and relationships rests in the hands of each individual school district, principal and health education teacher, with little guidance and even less oversight.”
To determine what students are learning, NYCLU sent questionnaires to a sample of school districts across the state making sure to include small, medium, and large districts. New York City was excluded in part for efficiency purposes. Since the surveys were sent out, however, the city passed a sex education mandate that went into during the 2011-2012 school year. NYCLU says: “We look forward to reviewing New York City data and instruction at a future date.” In total, 108 school districts were included, representing 542,955 students or nearly half of all students enrolled in districts outside New York City. In addition, the authors reviewed the most commonly used textbooks in the state.
The study found major gaps in the education young people should have been receiving, as well as numerous factual errors and biases in the information they were actually given.
I’m sure most of you have already heard about this, but this is exactly why we need to change our sex education system.
[TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ASSAULT] I’ve Been Sexually Assaulted Twice
I don’t talk about them openly because I just don’t, but it happened twice.
But tonight I’ve been thinking about it and realizing that both men have no fucking clue that what they did was wrong, and they will never realize that what they did was wrong, and that fills me with much more rage than the acts themselves.
These guys weren’t evil. They were normal college guys who didn’t understand that what they were doing was wrong.
We can help survivors all we want, and that is a noble and worthy cause.
But until we start educating men that touching a woman without consent is wrong, that pushing her head down during a make-out session is wrong, that having sex with a drunk person is wrong. We will never end sexual assault.
Sexual assault does not have to happen. It is not required for a normal functional society. It is the result of a society that does not educate it’s youth, and treats women as objects. I am fucking sick of it.
If you are not fuming with rage that sexual assault is preventable, and yet is not being prevented, I do not want to know you. I’m so mad. My rage is so great that I don’t think I can use words to describe it.
This shit doesn’t need to happen.
here’s my sex+ guide to having safe, pleasurable butt sex! leave your taboos at the door :P
-butt sex should not hurt.
-lube! lube! more lube!
-never go straight from anus to vag
-only do it if you want to
-everyone has a butt! anal play is not inherently “gay”
(Sex+: Laci’s Guide to BUTT SEX)
This is one of the big problems with sex-positivity. Laci Green says she received an “alarming amount of messages about people being pressured into anal sex”. I think we all know that by “people”, she means women. Her solution is to make a video giving advice on how to have anal sex. How does that help those women? “Just don’t do it if you don’t want to”. No shit, Laci, I’m sure that idea had already occurred to those women. It’s easy to tell women to just not do things they’re not comfortable with, but that doesn’t do anything about the GUYS PRESSURING THEM TO DO THOSE THINGS. They’re still in the same boat they were before, trying to figure out what to do with a guy who wants to fuck her butt in a world that says women will die alone if they don’t let guys fuck their butts. There’s not a moment in this video where she is reprimanding these guys or telling em’ to knock it off, because OMG THAT MIGHT HURT THEIR FEELINGS AND MAKE THEM FEEL ASHAMED OF THEIR SEXUAL DESIRES. On the first fucking page of Youtube comments, there’s a guy saying that he’s “too big for her butt”, so he’s gonna buy her “anal relaxers”. That makes perfect sense if you’re a misogynist! Her body is rejecting his penetration despite their best efforts, so he will numb her ass instead so she can’t feel the pain and tearing that comes with forcing your penis inside a rectum that is not receptive to penetration.
P.S. putting numbing gels and relaxers on/in someone’s butt before anal play is a huge NO-NO. It’s very dangerous for the aforementioned reasons. You need to be able to feel pain to make sure you’re not injuring yourself. This is safe anal sex 101, and I wish I wasn’t so well-versed in this doodoo. No pun intended.
Fucking thank you Eli. I’ve had this problem with her for a while but didn’t quite know how to articulate it. She’s far too passive. Her videos all make sense if you are in a loving open relationship with someone who’s not a douche. Her videos all seem like the perfect Ta-da solution FOR A PERFECT WORLD. The sex+ attitude excuses a lot of things that are fucked up purely because they are sexual in nature, and sexuality is not to be shamed. This attitude leaves no room to call out misogyny and rapey situations. She’s far too passive. Tbh, men don’t need anymore encouragement to want to try buttsex. They don’t feel shamed for it, the porn industry fixed that problem a long time ago.
yeah I’ve had quite a few asks about people wondering what to do if their significant others (remember not just guys can pressure not just girls in to any kind of sex) pressure them into sex and I’ve had messages asking how to get their partners to do a certain sex act for them. THIS IS A HUGE DEAL. You HAVE to respect people’s boundaries. It is never okay to pressure anyone in to sex. It can be difficult to remember that this needs to be said when you’re used to dealing with totally consensual relationships but it’s something that needs to be said over and over again.
states using abstinence only “sex ed”:
you are screwing young people in a serious way by denying them the information they need to be in control, healthy, and safe.
“Men’s indifference to learning about contraception and to taking any responsibility for it is a theme that emerges from many reports of projects that have attempted, and failed, to reach and educate men. One of the most successful programs of contraception education for men, a Planned Parenthood project in Chicago, abandoned its attempts to reach men over the age of twenty-five when it was found that these men simply would not participate, even when offered beer, sandwiches, free condoms—and “stag” movies. Instead, the project targeted a younger group, and as part of its research the project conducted a survey of over a thousand men aged fifteen to nineteen:
• These young men were asked whether they agreed with the statement “It’s okay to tell a girl you love her so that you can have sex with her.” Seven out of ten agreed that it’s okay.
• They were asked whether they agreed with the statement “A guy should use birth control whenever possible.” Eight out of ten disagreed and said a guy should not.
• And when asked, “If I got a girl pregnant, I would want her to have an abortion,” nearly nine out of ten said no, they would not want her to have an abortion. These teenage men agreed: Deception to obtain coital access is okay; male irresponsibility in contraception is okay; but abortion is not okay—“because it’s wrong.”
Largely because of attitudes such as these, one million teenage women—one tenth of all teenage women—become pregnant each year, and two thirds of their pregnancies are not wanted.”
—John Stoltenberg, Refusing to be a Man
“It’s important to clarify that sex education that teaches about pleasure doesn’t have to teach about technique (though elective college-level sex education that does this is great). Letting teens know that women usually achieve orgasm through the rubbing of the clitoris, whether fingers, mouth, object, or penis, isn’t the same as screening an instructional video on giving good cunnilingus. It’s not the same as writing down the names of sex-toy shops on the blackboard, or handing out diagrams of cool and exciting coital positions. And teaching that lubricants reduce pain and increase safety and pleasure during many kinds of sex should be thought of not as performance advice, but on par with vital lessons about condom use.
Real sex education is not the same as porn education. Instead, it’s about teaching that pleasure is an important part of any sexual relationship. It’s about teaching that there is nothing wrong with wanting to feel sexual pleasure and seeking it out, so long as it is done safely and responsibly. It’s about teaching comfort with one’s body and a lack of shame over desires, and there is more to sex for all people than sticking penises into vaginas. Real sex education teaches how to go about making intelligent , safe choices, rather than just stating the choices available. I believe there is a big difference. And I believe that teaching teens to make smart choices about sex must involve teaching them that having sex, partnered or alone, can be a smart choice”.