posts tagged "rape"
this is how you do anti-rape campaign posters.
[image description: photo of a street protest; the photo is centred on someone holding a sign with text (hand-painted in all caps) reading “rape predates mini-skirts”; end description]
HOLY FUCK A-FUCKING-MEN TO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scotland really seems to be getting good at the whole ‘blame the perpetrator not the victim’ part of campaigning against rape (I’m reminded of this campaign which takes a similar tact). Which is far more than I can say for the English police force.What can you do to help stop rape?1. Take responsibility … »Find out about the law regarding rape and understand that no matter what the circumstances are, sex without consent is rape.If there is any doubt about whether the person you’re with is consenting, don’t have sex.2. Respect your sexual partner … »Listen to the other person and treat them with respect – effective communication is key to healthy sexual relationships. It’s important to talk to your partner and listen to their wishes.
Any kind of sexual act must be consensual – both partners should agree to it and be happy with it.3. Question your own attitudes … »Consider the messages you hear about how men should act and think about your own actions, attitudes and behaviours.
Understand that behaviour, such as pub chat about a woman ‘asking for it’ because of what she is wearing, can perpetuate harmful attitudes towards sexism and sexual violence.Work towards positively changing attitudes. Choose what kind of guy you want to be.4. Stand up for your beliefs … »It’s easy to look the other way or keep quiet about your opinions. Don’t. Challenge attitudes that disturb you. For example, if a friend makes a joke about rape, tell them it’s not funny. More often than not you’ll find others share your opinion.5. Be proactive … »If you’re with friends and become aware of a situation developing, don’t stay silent. For example where one or both parties are too drunk to have consensual sex, go and have a quiet word with your friend. It might feel awkward and difficult to intervene, but you are looking out for them in what could potentially be a risky situation.
Also, if you see a similar situation arising outwith your group of friends, tell someone in authority, for example a bartender or door steward.6. Be supportive … »If you know or suspect someone close to you has been abused or sexually assaulted, gently ask if you can help, offer them your support and encourage them to contact the police. There are also a range of support organisations which can help.7. Speak up … »If you know someone is abusing their partner, don’t ignore it. If you feel able to do so, talk to them and urge them to seek help. There are many support organisations that can offer advice.
You can report abuse by contacting your local police office or anonymously via Crimestoppers. In an emergency always dial 999.8. Get involved … »Support the campaign.
Display ‘we can stop it’ posters in your college, university or workplace – contact us for email@example.com(This address is not for crime reporting - in an emergency always dial 999)Tell us why you support the campaign – we are always looking for fresh firstname.lastname@example.org(This address is not for crime reporting - in an emergency always dial 999) Rape is a difficult subject to talk about but it’s only through raising awareness that attitudes will change.Sex without consent is rape. We can stop it.Look at that. Not a ‘don’t drink too much’ or ‘be careful when you’re walking alone’ in sight.
More campaigns like this please.
[TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ASSAULT] I’ve Been Sexually Assaulted Twice
I don’t talk about them openly because I just don’t, but it happened twice.
But tonight I’ve been thinking about it and realizing that both men have no fucking clue that what they did was wrong, and they will never realize that what they did was wrong, and that fills me with much more rage than the acts themselves.
These guys weren’t evil. They were normal college guys who didn’t understand that what they were doing was wrong.
We can help survivors all we want, and that is a noble and worthy cause.
But until we start educating men that touching a woman without consent is wrong, that pushing her head down during a make-out session is wrong, that having sex with a drunk person is wrong. We will never end sexual assault.
Sexual assault does not have to happen. It is not required for a normal functional society. It is the result of a society that does not educate it’s youth, and treats women as objects. I am fucking sick of it.
If you are not fuming with rage that sexual assault is preventable, and yet is not being prevented, I do not want to know you. I’m so mad. My rage is so great that I don’t think I can use words to describe it.
This shit doesn’t need to happen.
In working on my book, I went to Rwanda in 2004 to interview women who had borne children of rape conceived during the genocide. …At the end of my final interview, I asked the woman I was interviewing whether she had any questions. She paused shyly for a moment. “Well,” she said, a little hesitantly. “You work in this field of psychology.” I nodded. She took a deep breath. “Can you tell me how to love my daughter more?” she asked. “I want to love her so much, and I try my best, but when I look at her I see what happened to me and it interferes.” A tear rolled down her cheek, but her tone turned almost fierce, challenging. “Can you tell me how to love my daughter more?” she repeated.
Perhaps Todd Akin has an answer for her.
[[[[[[[[TW: DISCUSSION OF RAPE]]]]]] When a woman reports a rape, her body is a crime scene. She is typically asked to undress over a large sheet of white paper to collect hairs or fibers, and then her body is examined with an ultraviolet light, photographed and thoroughly swabbed for the rapists’ DNA.
It’s a grueling and invasive process that can last four to six hours and produces a “rape kit” - which, it turns out, often sits around for months or years, unopened and untested. Stunningly often, the rape kit isn’t tested at all because it’s not deemed a priority. If it is tested, this happens at such a lackadaisical pace that it may be a year or more before there are results (if expedited, results are technically possible in a week).
So while we have breakthrough DNA technologies to find culprits and exculpate innocent suspects, we aren’t using them properly - and those who work in this field believe the reason is an underlying doubt about the seriousness of some rape cases. In short, this isn’t justice; it’s indifference.
If you wouldn’t have been there that night, none of this would have happened to you.
This is me. I knew he immediately regretted having said those words, and he retracted them soon after he said them. But the damage had already been done. He was incredibly supportive after that, but I experienced that support in the wake of that one terrible sentence. I don’t blame him too much—he reacted exactly as society programs people to react. Nevertheless, I have been carrying this with me for over half a year. I’m so relieved I can let go.
Why rape jokes are uniquely bad.
Apologies in advance for the really serious post, but I think I’ve actually made my point pretty well in the text below and it’d mean a lot to me if you’d read it. Trigger warning for rape and sexual violence.
I want to prove two things:
- Rape is a unique crime not comparable to being robbed or murdered.
- The unique nature of rape makes rape jokes especially heinous.
This post is a sort-of response to a question I got this morning.
Rape is a unique crime.
Rape is not like murder or being robbed, rape is a type of torture - an exceptionally malicious act that has, at its core, no purpose except to inflict exceptional pain on you. It’s an act where the perpetrator not only wants to hurt you in a uniquely personal way, but enjoys the violation. Rape is so much more than just the act of sex - it destroys your bodily and sexual autonomy.
To rape is not merely to deny someone’s will, but to deny them their very personhood. The humiliation and shame experienced by rape victims is completely unique; they experience complete subjugation and the intimate loss of control of their own bodies.
A few weeks ago, I was mugged at gunpoint on North Carolina Ave. in Southeast DC. Now, if I’m ever back there, I’ll be much more apprehensive of my safety than I would’ve been before. This is pretty common - when you experience a violation, the area of the violation no longer feels safe. With rape, the area of violation is your own body.
Jokes about rape are uniquely horrible.
A recent joke that “comedian” Daniel Tosh made about how funny it would be if a girl was raped created a little bit of an internet shitstorm, forcing him to semi-apologize on Twitter. He followed up his apology with this Tweet:
(Personally, I find dead baby jokes a little bit gross.) “How do you get 10 babies into a jar? Blender. How do you get them out? Nachos.” Dead baby jokes, though, operate on in an area entirely removed from reality - nobody who tells that joke is actually contemplating using a baby as hummus, and functionally 0% of people know anyone who’s ever thought about or attempted to eat a pulverized baby.
Compare that to the prevalence of rape in the status quo. It’s estimated that 1 in 3 women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. Now, if 1 in 3 babies was killed and eaten with tortilla chips, people would think of it not as a joke, but as a horribly serious reality.
Murder jokes are less heinous for a similar reason. The national homicide rate is 4.8 per 100,000 people, meaning that the chance a given person hearing a murder joke will actually be killed is 00.0048%. The chance that you’ll actually trigger a terrible flashback from someone who’s been nearly murdered is damn low.
What really makes the difference between murder jokes and rape jokes, though, is not just the statistics. Murder is something that is taken extremely seriously in our society. Report rates are pretty high, and victims of attempted murder don’t need to worry that they’ll be accused of “asking for it” or being told that what happened to them isn’t a big deal. To be clear, I’m not justifying jokes about homicide.
Jokes about rape serve to make rape less serious. People who enjoy rape jokes commonly want to be told that rape isn’t a big deal, that it’s just sex, and that other people think so, too. A study of unreported acquaintance rapists done by Hinck and Thomas in 1999 found that “These individuals’ propensity to rape was significantly related not only to their acceptance of rape myths and of traditional ideas about male and female sexuality, but also to their belief that male sexual aggression is normal.”
That doesn’t mean that anyone who’s ever laughed at a rape joke is a future rapist. What it does mean is that these jokes provide the ammunition that these people need to justify themselves and think, “Hey, rape is not that big of a deal. It’s funny. Look, they all think so, too.”
Furthermore, the fact that rape isn’t taken seriously or that the blame is attributed to the woman keeps more women from coming forward, seeking justice for themselves, or even from getting counseling. After all, if rape isn’t that big of a deal, and if it was possibly their fault, there’s really no point. Every time a rape victim hears a rape joke, not only can the victim flash back to the rape and relive the experience in excruciating detail, but the victim also has to experience that mindfuck with the invalidation of suffering that comes with the levity of a joke.
To sum up:
- Rape is a type of torture, and rape victims experience severe psychological trauma that goes well beyond the physical damage.
- The prevalence of sexual assault makes it much more likely that either a rapist or a rape victim will hear a given joke about rape.
- Rape jokes perpetuate our society’s fucked up belief that rape isn’t serious.
- Rape jokes empower would-be rapists.
- Rape jokes further harm the victims of rape.
a good and very reasonable post about an important topic
If You are Healing from Sexual Violence,
Read This Every Morning
© 2009 Pandora’s Project
If you healing from sexual assault and you get out of bed in the morning,
You are doing well.
If you healing from sexual assault and you hold down a job,
You are amazing.
If you are healing from sexual assault and and you are still remotely pleasant to others,
You are a lot nicer than me.
If you are healing from sexual assault and you cannot always be there for a friend,
You are still a good friend and a strong enough person to know what is best for you.
If you are healing from sexual assault, and find it difficult to care for yourself, but still find the strength to care and love your family than you are strong as well.
If you are healing from sexual assault and you decide to tell your story,
You are brave.
If you are healing from sexual assault and you decide that you are not ready to tell your story,
You are also brave.
If you are healing from sexual assault and you cry daily or have nightmares,
You are normal.
If you are healing from sexual assault and seeing happy, healthy people makes you sad, angry, jealous and worse,
Join the club.
If you are healing from sexual assault and you decide to press charges against your perpetrator,
You have incredible courage.
If you are healing from sexual assault and you cannot or choose not to press charges against your perpetrator,
Your perpetrator is still the one to blame, and you are smart for knowing what you can handle.
If you are healing from sexual assault and think that what happened was your fault,
You are wrong, but you are not alone.
If you are healing from sexual assault and are jealous that some survivors put their abuser in jail,
You are one of many.
If you are healing from sexual assault and feel like your significant other truly understands and is 100% supportive,
He or she is rare and a keeper.
If you are healing from sexual assault and you have a good support system,
It will help A LOT.
If you are healing from sexual assault and you don’t have enough people who understand what you are going through,
I strongly recommend joining a support group.
If you are healing from sexual assault and were not believed or supported when you found the courage to tell,
You still deserve to be heard, no matter how long ago it was.
If you are healing from sexual assault and you feel like you hate your body,
Remember your spirit is held within your body.
If you are healing from sexual assault and feel painfully alone and isolated,
Please know that there are thousands of people healing with you in spirit.
If you are healing from sexual assault and there are days where the only thing you are able to do is exist,
Remember, we are existing with you till you can live again.
If you are healing from sexual assault but still looking to the future,
You are a survivor.
If You Are Going Through Infertility (Read This to Yourself Every Morning)
By K. Elam, RESOLVE of GA member
I’ve reblogged this before, and I will continue to reblog it forever.
Vice President Joe Biden, a long time advocate for women and girls and strong ally in the fight to end violence against women, announced a new White House PSA today called “1 is 2 many.”
As the White House site says,
1 in 5 women will be the victim of sexual assault while they are in college, 1 in 9 teen girls will be forced to have sex, 1 in 10 teens will be hurt on purpose by someone they are dating, 1 is 2 many.